In collaboration with the North Carolina Parenting Education Network and Sue Carson, C.J. Edwards, Sue Keith, Henry Helms, Wayne Matthews, Liz Rodriguez, Susan McClannahan and Phyllis Sharpe

The Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development (1989) estimates that about one quarter of the adolescent population is at risk of academic failure and other problem behaviors, with another quarter considered "moderately" at risk (Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development, 1989, p. 8). Of rising concern are problems and fears among adolescents and teens concerning school violence. Despite recent occurrences, however, schools should not be singled out as the most dangerous places in the community. Most school crime is theft, not serious violent crime. While students were victims of about the same number of crimes in and out of school in 1996, the nature of crime outside of school has been found to be far more serious than in school (Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, 1998).

The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (1998) report indicates that not only do schools and communities have a responsibility to make environments safer, but parents have a major responsibility in the behaviors and actions taken by their children. In their report (1998), OJJDP suggests that parents assure active open communication with children, establish clear disciplinary measures, keep guns and weapons away from unsupervised students, model prosocial behaviors, and become involved in school activities as well as day to day activities in the child's life.

Combined with social and familial support for the emerging teen, there are several developmental factors that can be attributed to teen behavior. Typically teens take risks and many accompany these behaviors with the attitude that "it won't happen to me." Many youth do not understand that they lack experience and practice in making decisions. Additionally, without the guidance of a developed internal voice or the imposing of an external consequence, they stretch the stakes each time they experiment in "finding themselves." Budding adolescent identity is developed in many ways. Teens will examine various groups of peers and activities to see where they feel most comfortable to them as a person. The peer and adult models they encounter become extremely important during this time. Teen identity and problem solving become more and more complex. Teen identity resolution combined with the potential for social pressures of inaccessible parents, academic tension, relationship navigation, and media influences compound navigation of this stage of life.

In an effort to seek solutions to teen identity and reasons for violent acts, many school and community professionals, counselors, and educators have addressed local concerns. In these solution-seeking discussions, often teen opinions are often not represented. It is teens, however that can best describe what is important in their lives.

To obtain information about what teens need from adults and parents in particular, the North Carolina Parenting Education Network (NCPEN) decided to ask teens for their opinion. NCPEN is a voluntary coalition of educational organizations and agencies striving to build access for parents to the field of critical parenting practices across the state. Following the tragic shooting in at a high school in Columbine, Colorado, NCPEN approached the North Carolina Four-H program seeking an opportunity to speak to groups of teens. As a result, NCPEN was able to engage over 100 teens in an interactive session to discuss teen issues relative to their needs, their parents, their peers, and their schools.

The youth who participated in the discussion groups were attending the 1999 North Carolina Four-H Congress. During 4-H Congress, youth age 13-19 from across the state participate in many learning activities and, along with other youth, discuss issues and solutions facing others their age.

Procedure

The procedure for the three-hour morning session was to divide the total group of 100 youth into six groups of approximately 15. Each group was facilitated by two NCPEN members. Each small group leader engaged the youth in an active get acquainted activity followed by a brief discussion of "typical" males and "typical" females including a role play of how males are socialized to act and how females are socialized to act. Following this activity, youth were asked to view one of two videotapes. Two tapes were used to diversify opinion and responses. One tape was a recorded ABC television Primetime special hosted by John Stossel aired in the Spring of 1999. The focus was on teen brain development and creativity during the teen years. The second tape was a lecture aired as part of an educational satellite program. The lecturer, Dr. James Garbarino from Cornell University, discussed the nature of risk in teens and how to build resiliency in communities and families. Each tape was approximately 30 minutes.

Following the video viewing, youth returned to their six groups. The purpose was to gain input and consensus about youth perceptions, their needs, peer influence, parent roles and the school's role in youth development of identity and youth violence. The groups discussed the following questions:

- How are teens creative in their expressions of their individuality?

- How do adults and teens think and solve problems differently?

- Do you think there are different types of teens influencing teen opinion, behavior and appearance?

- Why do youth act their feelings out violently?

- What are possible solutions for teen violence?

Following the group discussion, one representative from each group was asked to serve on a Town Hall panel to represent their group and speak for 1 minute about the main ideas of their group. About 300 Four-H Congress delegates expressed their collective opinion and searched for solutions during the general Town Hall session which was moderated by North Carolina Secretary of State, Elaine Marshall.

Results of discussion

There were several trends that were conveyed throughout all groups and that were evident as part of the larger Town Hall Discussion. The blend of responses from all six groups are reflected in this summary.

During the discussion about typical males and typical females, the words named to describe males included controlling, macho, quiet, strong, tough, manly, athletic, and dominant. One group noted that a "real man should respect himself and take responsibility." Words used by teens to describe the typical female included beauty, grace, materialistic, caring, more mature and maternal.

Teens discussed their thoughts about their development of identity. They indicated that expressions of emerging identity are displayed in creative appearances but agreed that role models and parents mostly influence them and who they are becoming. The youth also noted that teens can be creative in their thinking, but that they react quickly to situations with their emotions rather than their" rational side" indicating that teens don't have the "life" experiences to guide them. One participating teen said, "I see behavior standards as being molded at age 13-19 when we are exploring our identity."

The youth in each group generally felt that teens can and do act violently, but that boys are more violent than girls. They said, "boys are socialized not to cry or show their "soft" emotions while girls are given this outlet. As indicated in the Garbarino tape, youth echoed that "sad boys get angry and sad girls get depressed." They said that "anger can swell, then, like dominoes, start falling." One person commented; "labeling creates expectations and then behavior follows," while another teen noted that "it is important to discover the underlying problems causing the lashing out, breaking of rules or negative expressions of feelings."

Teens said that it is critical for parents to be active in their children's lives and that this active parenting must start early. They feel parents need to be understanding, loving and caring, but firm and not be afraid to take charge of their children. Many agreed with the comment that "parents must set limits for children." Teens expressed a desire to relate to parents on a more mature level - as friends. However another group indicated that when a parent tries to be friends, it seems confusing when limits are then enforced. It seems to ruin the friendship, make the child feel bad while losing respect for the parent. For clarity, they added that parents should be encouraged to share their emotions or feelings with their teens about non-parenting aspects of their lives (jobs, relationships with other adults, personal well-being). Teens want someone to talk with and many agreed that is easier to "talk to a stranger than your parent." There is a need to have confidentiality and trust with whomever we talk with. They said, "there are not enough school counselors for this type of listening. We have to make an appointment and after 2 weeks waiting until the appointment time, the feelings have already been dealt with."

Teens feel they need positive role models from both parents and in teachers. Teens indicated that they want to see teachers exhibiting "caring" behaviors. Although teachers are role models, teens did not feel that churches and communities can do the job that parents are supposed to be doing. One student remarked that "it is too bad that the General Assembly has to set down the rules for curfew. The parents should be doing that." One suggestion arose that was conveyed on one of the videotapes. The suggestion was to limit the school and classroom size. Participants said "smaller groups would help teacher and administrators know the students better."

To emphasize the impact that peers have on teens, one teen remarked , "I have friends. I look past my uncaring teacher. I don't need clubs with teachers there." Teens indicated that their school have some teachers who seem to take an interest in them and some teachers who do not. An anonymous drop-box for student suggestions to the principal was shared on one of the videotapes. Participants liked this idea. One teen said that "there needs to be many [people] woking together raising children. There (even) needs to be stronger communication about movie ratings and TV." One group said that they can tell their parents are "uncomfortable talking about some things while another group said they "know kids who have parents who are afraid of them and their behavior and they rely on others to take care of their kids-schools, psychologists, and even medication." One teen said that "kids aren't afraid of adults anymore-they'll cuss them out. Adults don't have any authority any more." One female teen said. "Nowadays if you say a wrong thing to your child you end up in court!" Another teen said. "There is a moral decay. There are not good role models. Look at our (U.S.) President."

Youth feel the "code of silence" or not tattling is a real phenomenon indicating that people are afraid to tell on others. One participant explained, "once my sister turned in three guys who were dealing drugs and they came back to me for revenge." Another said that the code of silence goes beyond kids. "At my high school there was an incident with a guy and knives. Kids were running. The police came. Shots were even fired. But it was never reported in the news." Another teen said, "School is not fun. People are paranoid particularly after the Colorado shooting. If a book hit the floor everyone jumped. The copycat stuff was ridiculous and people were wearing trench coats." And still another said, "Kids are scared to go to school, to close their eyes or go to the bathroom."

The Town Hall group moderator recognized asked the teens how to increase parent involvement. They suggested regular family meetings, dinner table meetings, investing now-not when the problems are larger later, nurturing a spiritual nature in the family, and support systems to protect youth from acting out negative behaviors.

Participants were asked to focus on solutions. One theme that was heard time and again was "listen to us." Teens talked about having a mutual respect between teens and parents. Respect on a parent's part is demonstrated through listening (eye contact, not interrupting, not prejudging, answering specifically not with explanations for decisions). Teens want to be more involved in family decisions. Teens want to offer their ideas, not "just be informed about what was decided." One teen said, "we need mentors in lieu of bad parents."

Teens said they need more school staff to listen to them so they can have time to talk and be heard. They said they need teachers who have learned skills in getting to know kids. "Some teachers may not feel safe in the schools and we don't pay the good teachers enough to stay in education." As individuals, teens indicated that they wished their was less emphasis on "being best" at everything because it lease some kids out. Individually, teens indicated they could try to befriend lonely students or loners. Also they said that work experience help teens learn respect for authority.

Implications

Based on this discussion, NCPEN is eager to involve teens in the work of NCPEN and more in decision making about message to give to parents and use what was shared (including direct quotes) to develop a media campaign aimed at parents of teens. This information will be useful as well as we continue to work with parent educators, particularly those who work with parents of teens and school systems.

As a group, NCPEN hopes to be able to further explore group building solutions with teens working toward potential learning and work sessions for youth on how to take action on issues, getting grants, putting together programs, planning educational awareness programs, how to speak out effectively, how to write senators and congressional leaders, highlighting the positive, getting parents involved, teaching values, and community activism.

An additional suggestion would be to explore the "caring" body of literature for additional strategies on teaching caring behaviors to teachers and parents and seek out parenting curriculum that focuses on building caring listening skills with teens to be used to train teachers as well as parents in these critical skills. Another curriculum that would be recommended could be aimed at parents on how to feel confident in setting limits and taking authority.

The solutions will be found through collective action of teens and adults working together. Perhaps then we can listen to one another.

References:

Annual Report on School Safety (1998). Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

Washington, DC. Online at [http://ojjdp.ncjrs.org/hlights/svresources.html#statistics]

Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development (1989). Turning points: preparing American youth for the 21st century. New York: Carnegie Corporation of New York.

Schwartz, W. (1996). An overview of strategies to reduce school violence ERIC Clearinghouse on Urban Education Number 115, EDO-UD-96-4 ISSN 0889-8049